A little over a year ago I attended a music show at the Colorado Room. A year ago, there were old faces and there were new faces. And I, I sat at a table wondering where freedom was. Wondering where the real me had gone and how to find her again. I knew one thing for sure. I was there, at this concert, Sitting there. Sitting was not what I wanted to be doing. I looked up at the people around me. The faces of the crowd, some vaguely familiar. I listened to the music, the lyrics and the life they spoke of. There was a group standing in between my table and the stage, conversations buzzing, joy exploding as people gathered, laughter ringing, hugs all around. I watched a small crowd of people dancing like there was no tomorrow. In this moment, it occurred to me there were 3 types of people here. Sitters, standers, and dancers. These 3 distinctions representing to me different postures of how to engage life. I longed to be a person who could dance and laugh and live carelessly and free. From my vantage point that seemed like trying to touch the moonlight or catch the wind. I knew I was tired of sitting and observing life, living careful and composed, maybe I could stand?
“…This world is our playground, lets get up, lets go, take a look around…”
I found myself rising and walking away from this seated place. I had spent too much time tapping my feet under the table, sitting stoically. I merged into the standing crowd mingling with new acquaintances. I drew a deep breath and felt the weight of years of expectations, distortions, insecurity and fears snap and fall away. This was a profound directional moment of reorienting this life posture. I went from being a ‘sitter’ to being a ‘stander’, interacting with life, a subtle change of vantage point. I dare say, in that moment I went even farther than I had intended. Borrowing some freedom and boldness from a friend, I followed in their wake and found myself pulled to the front edge of the standing crowd, swaying with the rhythm of the music, nearer to the dancing places that seemed beyond the reality of this life. I watched with a hungry heart longing to dance and sing with the Audience of One that matters most to me.
I was hearing lyrics, listening to music, experiencing an atmosphere that spoke of something more.
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